{"id":220,"date":"2014-03-13T21:31:13","date_gmt":"2014-03-14T02:31:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gentropy.org\/blogs\/?p=220"},"modified":"2019-01-09T18:33:16","modified_gmt":"2019-01-09T23:33:16","slug":"mighty-men-of-texas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gentropy.org\/blogs\/2014\/03\/13\/mighty-men-of-texas\/","title":{"rendered":"Mighty Men of Texas"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Parables of The Guru Baba Ghanoush.<\/p>\n

In the words of the Belgian latitudinarian, Pierre de la Microcode, “sometimes<\/p>\n

the strangest things can lead to enlightenment.”<\/p>\n

We begin, as the Guru teaches, with the parables of Baba Ghanoush.<\/p>\n

The Tale of the Texans.<\/p>\n

In ancient times, there was a mighty tribe that called themselves Texans.<\/p>\n

Their leader, Volume, was an ungodly man, and his works were an abomination<\/p>\n

unto the Lord and the Finance Department. The men of Texas coveted the market<\/p>\n

of Commodore, and lusted after it in their hearts. They asked counsel from a<\/p>\n

false guru, who did project. They knelt at his feet and prayed, “Guru, we<\/p>\n

beseech thee, how many shipments shall be shipped, that Volume may know their<\/p>\n

number, and prosper from them?” And the guru consulted his false software, and<\/p>\n

made his projections, and prophesied, “Seven million shall be shipped, praise<\/p>\n

to the Model.” And the men of Texas girded their loins and readied their<\/p>\n

capacity, and did laugh at their competitors, who had no mighty Volume to lead<\/p>\n

them.<\/p>\n

But the Lord was wroth with the men of Texas, and caused the people to<\/p>\n

buy but one home computer each, and a great pestilence fell upon the tribe.<\/p>\n

Its name was Inventory, and it was sorely feared. But the men of Texas did not<\/p>\n

hearken to the Lord, and asked again of the false guru, “Guru, how many<\/p>\n

shipments shall be shipped?” And the false Guru replied, “A certain softness<\/p>\n

is developing in the market, which is not demonstrating the price-elasticity<\/p>\n

the Model spoke of. Let us say, 4 million units.”<\/p>\n

And the men of Texas did weep and rend their production targets, but<\/p>\n

the fiend Inventory would not be stayed. And the Lord did smite the men of<\/p>\n

Texas, unto the components and the components of components, and there was<\/p>\n

great weeping in the land, and gnashing of consultants.<\/p>\n

Yet the man of Texas hardened their hearts unto the Lord, and went<\/p>\n

again unto the false guru, and did say, “Guru, what shall we do next?” And the<\/p>\n

false guru consulted his Model and said, “MS\/DOS is the way to go. The market<\/p>\n

for MS\/DOS desktops is growing at 400% annually. Also, portables look nice.”<\/p>\n

The Curse Of Osborne.<\/p>\n

There was in the great lands of the West a man who hearkened not to the word of<\/p>\n

the Lord, This man whored among the venture capitalists who jested as the<\/p>\n

invested, saying, “Verily, this is a surefire thing.” And the man showed them<\/p>\n

the preachings of the false gurus, that did demonstrate 400% annual growth in<\/p>\n

personal computers, compounded annually through 2010. And they rejoiced, and<\/p>\n

built him a mighty plant, and did offer him much capital.<\/p>\n

But the Lord did not look with favor upon the man and did smite his<\/p>\n

cash flow with a great smiting, and the company did fold. And the venture<\/p>\n

capitalists cried a great cry, and summoned their attorneys, saying, “We hath<\/p>\n

been ripped off!” But the Lord smote them further, and their attorneys.<\/p>\n

But the venture capitalists hardened their hearts against the Lord, and<\/p>\n

did invest in others who were like unto the man, and they did hearken unto the<\/p>\n

words of these men, and did say, “Lo, 400% is a big figure. We must invest,<\/p>\n

for verily, this is a surefire thing.” And the Lord did wonder why he bothered.<\/p>\n

The Tale of the Peanut.<\/p>\n

There once was a man in the land of Boca, who did good in the sight of the<\/p>\n

Lord, and the Lord did cause him to prosper. His PCs did go forth and<\/p>\n

multiply, and were as stars in the heavens, yea, a great multitude, as grains<\/p>\n

of sand upon the seashore, or applications unto the Apple IIc. And the Lord<\/p>\n

did look, and it was good.<\/p>\n

But the man waxed proud, and hardened his heart against the Lord. And<\/p>\n

the Lord spoke unto him, saying, “Don, the PC doth prosper, but perhaps it is<\/p>\n

time for a revamp.” And the man laughed at the Lord, saying, “Verily, we have<\/p>\n

wrought a great multitude of PCs, and our DOS is worshipped in the land.<\/p>\n

Business Week has said nice things about us, and none may stand against us.<\/p>\n

Our PC shall live forever, and its software shall be supported unto the fourth<\/p>\n

generation, and we shall make little PCs to exceed our most optimistic<\/p>\n

projections.”<\/p>\n

And the Lord was vexed with the man, who had grown so proud. And the<\/p>\n

Lord moved his spirit on the face of the media, and there was a great cry of<\/p>\n

“Peanut!” But still the man hearkened not unto the Lord, and did summon his<\/p>\n

marketing managers and say unto them, “Heed not the Cry of the people, but let<\/p>\n

your eyes be fixed upon the schedule.”<\/p>\n

But the Lord did smite the man, and the people did rise up and cry<\/p>\n

“Peanut,” and there was a great leaking in the land. And the man did yield to<\/p>\n

the people, and did present the Peanut unto them, and did say, “Lo, behold the<\/p>\n

Peanut. It shall be unto you as the PC, and shall speak unto your TV sets.”<\/p>\n

And the Lord did cause the people to look upon the Peanut, and the scales did<\/p>\n

fall from their eyes, and they saw not the man and his power. And they did<\/p>\n

say, “This thing?” And the people did cry out, “Chiclets!” and did demand to<\/p>\n

run their PC applications on the Peanut and lo, they would not run. And the<\/p>\n

Lord sent again the fiend Inventory, and he smote the dealers until there was a<\/p>\n

great weeping and gnashing of discounts.<\/p>\n

But the man cried; “We shall enhance!” Whereupon the Lord raised a<\/p>\n

mighty horde of Macintoshes and IIcs that ravaged the land, until the Peanut<\/p>\n

was an abomination to all the people. (And this is a sign unto you, for all of<\/p>\n

the days of the Peanut are numbered less than 9 bits.)<\/p>\n

Still the man rebelled against the Lord, and did make a portable, and<\/p>\n

the people did cry yet again, “This thing?” But the cry was not loud, and the<\/p>\n

Lord was still, for he was fed up with the whole thing.<\/p>\n

The Tale of Gideon.<\/p>\n

There once was a man named Gideon, who walked in the ways of the Lord and knew<\/p>\n

the ways of the Source Code. One day there came emissaries of the people<\/p>\n

beyond the sea, and they said unto him, “Tell us the ways of XA, that we may<\/p>\n

know them and be compatible unto them. And help us to understand the MIPS of<\/p>\n

the Great Trout, that we may align ourselves thereunto.” And Gideon was<\/p>\n

tempted, and did write scenarios unto them, and tell them the ways of XA.<\/p>\n

But the Lord was wroth with Gideon, for he did consort with the people<\/p>\n

from beyond the sea, whose mainframes were an abomination unto the Lord. And<\/p>\n

the Lord said to Gideon, “If thou do not lay off, it shall fall on thee from a<\/p>\n

great height.”<\/p>\n

But Gideon hardened his heart, and did speak again to the men from<\/p>\n

beyond the sea. And the Lord brought forth a great horde of mighty men of<\/p>\n

Enforcement, and did afflict the men from beyond the sea with many suits, yea<\/p>\n

unto civil suits and criminal suits. And Gideon hid his face from the Lord,<\/p>\n

saying, “It was not me, Lord.” But the Lord did say unto Gideon, “The Lord thy<\/p>\n

God is a jealous god, and thou hast been ripping him off.” And he smote Gideon<\/p>\n

with the jawbone of an attorney, and there was a great settling in the land,<\/p>\n

and much wailing and gnashing of newsletters.<\/p>\n

And thereafter Gideon walked in the ways of the Lord, and his voice was<\/p>\n

not heard in the land.<\/p>\n

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